Radiance & Resonance
Information and Advice for Improving your Life and Relationships
How to Speak Your Truth, Part 1
-Jeni Wahlig, PhD, LMFT
Speaking your truth can be one of the most powerful ways to transform your relationship. It opens the door to greater authenticity, intimacy, connection, satisfaction, and security. How, you wonder? Consider: Being honest about who you are is the best way to get to be you who you are. It never feels good to hide or compromise your true self, and it’s a deeply felt human desire to be seen, known, accepted and loved. Knowing a partner loves and accepts you, (all of you, for who you are, exactly as you are), brings a profound sense of security to the relationship. Additionally, speaking your truth about what you want and need in your relationship is the quickest way to get those wants and needs met. By asking directly, your partner knows exactly how to give you what you want and need; no guessing involved. Speaking your truth is an important way to take responsibility for yourself in your relationships; it’s a way to be a better partner. And it’s a loving thing to do for a partner, assuming you’ve chosen someone who cares enough about you to want to know who you are and what you need.
What is your truth, anyway?
Experiencing a vague sense of feeling off, unhappy, dissatisfied, anxious, or even numb? Struggling with conflicting thoughts or feelings about a relationship? Know something isn’t working for you, but you’re not sure what to do? You may not be tuned into your truth.
Even though speaking one’s truth is such a great way to live authentically, to be known, accepted, and loved for who one is, to get one’s needs met, and to have a great relationship, it’s still, often times, a really hard thing to do. (Go figure. Isn’t that the way of so many of the most important things in life and, especially, relationships?) What makes speaking your truth to a partner so difficult? Two things: First, speaking your truth is difficult because knowing your truth is difficult! Second, (and this is the more obvious one), speaking your truth is difficult because it can be pretty scary to share it with a partner. Let’s tackle the first challenge now. Tune in next month to learn more about sharing your truth with a partner.
Why is it so hard to know what my truth is?
I can think of a number of reasons that make it so difficult for any of us to know a truth. Here are a few:
Tips for Tuning into Your Truth